Accepting The Surprise Of Being Told: “I’m Not Happy”
Denial
We all have experienced loss many times in our lives so far; whether it was losing a favorite toy as a toddler, saying goodbye to a childhood friend that moved away, parting from our first puppy love, getting fired from a job, burying a pet, a decline in health, separating from a spouse or withstanding the passing of a sibling, child or other family members. Loss is unavoidable and how we react to it cannot be predicted.
Our body has a natural defense mechanism that tries to protect us from severe emotional and physical pain. To cushion the heart, mind, and body from trauma, our initial response may be delayed or blocked until we are in a state to receive the change.
My Love Tale
We met, fell in love, and decided to commit. We exchanged our most intimate thoughts and became comfortable with each other. Our connection was deep, and it felt like we were meant to be together forever. With my hand in hers, we moved into a cozy rancher and settled down into many seasons of good times and tears. Life was good!
Years later, we began to argue more and went through a series of breakups and make-ups. We spent a lot of time apart during the breakups to see who would give in and apologize first. She always did (I admit, I may have overused the threat of leaving the relationship to manipulate her into doing what I wanted). Her being vulnerable and telling me how much she wanted to be with me, made me feel like she really loved me.
Directly after our make-ups, we got along great and we were very loving and gentle toward each other. Then, in a short period of time; the same problems resurfaced that led to the next break up. This is how we loved each other during our time together. And then ‘bam,’ one day after a routine argument she said to me, “I am not happy.”
That was the last time that we broke up! She didn’t try to make up with me or come back to our relationship. Instead, a couple of weeks later, she started a new life with someone else! She gave up on us?! But…she always loved, needed, and chased me! I couldn’t believe that she was done loving me…
Stage 1: Denial (After the break-up you may experience any of the following)
A broken heart is renowned for its power to humble and connect man with his Creator. The following healing practices listed below will be the foundation to rebuild your heart and learn to love yourself as much as you are willing to love someone else.
Heal’n Practices (Ways to develop your inner being)
Remember For Your Heal’n
Losing someone that you cared deeply for can bring about a great deal of pain. Trying to process the new change and keep your sanity can also be challenging. As you begin to go through the process of healing your heartache, it is imperative for you to learn how to go within to find the root of how your choices and behaviors broke your own heart. We all respond to loss in different ways and heal with no specific timeline. Be patient and nurture yourself as you begin the stages of transformation.
